The state of the "stream-of-consciousness" blogosphere...?

Here I was, thinking it was just me, what with my recently posted disclaimer of absence and all. I haven't, it's true, been around much lately in terms of my bloglist, or my own blogs either, ostensibly so I could paint more. Which I ain't doin' much either.

So I was signing in this morning - 'cause I have the picture below as my home page background and I'm kinda trying to flood myself with red(the version above is my desktop wallpaper) because I took a chakra test and my "root chakra" is closed and red is supposed to help - and I noticed in my reader Megan's (All I Need Is Everything Redux) latest post, "Is It Over?"

Like I said, I haven't been cruisin' the sphere much lately, but that title piqued me curious. Had to see, is what over? Well, she's posted a sort of 'disclaimer of absence' of her own, since a lot of people don't seem to be doing it - blogging the way we "stream-of-consciousness" (from an article I once read that tried to classify the types of blogs but couldn't come up with one for those of us who just blog whatever the hell we want to) people do, so Megan's a bit disheartened (today, at least ;-) and wanted to let us know that she may not be on her blog much for a while. Sorta like I did in my last post.

Then I opened the comments to see what folks had to say about that, felt like I had a comment to make there too, and while I was composing my thoughts on that...well, I got carried away and thought, "Shit! What I'm trying to condense down to a brief comment might be better as a post of its own." I couldn't seem to sum it up, and thought, why not go ahead let yourself elaborate a bit. And besides, our subject here is a dearth of posts, so...?
So. I should be a painter. In the world of work, that's all I should be doing. Thinking this, I wondered what was lacking, why I don't paint more - even when I "have the time" - and I came up with, discipline. You know, a fucking work ethic. But why don't I...blah blah, yadda yadda - it becomes introspection. Searching. Seeking. So instead of getting up from here, in front of the monitor, I look and look and look, for...clues or something. That's how I found out most of my chakras are closed("Even a rational person will cast about in times of stress." ~ Ulysses Everett McGill).
Other things have kept me here at the keyboard but not blogging as well. Like job applications, of which I have to do five a week to keep the unemployment money flowing in. I hate every minute of that. Applying for jobs is the second worse thing about not having one. This is probably due to the fact that I don't really want a j-o-b in the first place. I want to be a PAINTER! Which, in order to get your mind settled down enough to focus on, requires a certain amount of freedom from financial concerns, which makes me wonder what kinda job, which makes me wonder how can I fit in painting, which...which...which...
It seems to snowball and cover me up; I wind up staring out the window in a daze. Surfing the net to distract myself. Questioning my motives. Giving up and taking a nap.

Anyways, that's a bit about some of why I ain't blogging much these days. Enough, I sez. If I keep going I fear it'll start to sound whiny, and I hate whiny.
Megan, if you see this, I hope you'll agree, it's a bit much for the comments section. Eh?

Now, if y'all will excuse me, I feel a nap comin' on . . . ;-)